A Warning by Karen Campbell (Appeared in the January 2010 Issue) Bad poetry is manipulative. She will ask you to overlook her clichés By offering you sentimentality (And she’ll turn on the waterworks if you don’t.) Bad poetry is lazy. She refuses to redraft and will not use a dictionary. She gorges on mediocrity and Never washes up. Bad poetry is stubborn. She will not listen to criticism. If you think her meaning is poorly expressed She will sulk and say you just don’t get it. Bad poetry is untrustworthy. She’ll sleep with a good poet And afterwards, over lunch with a tabloid journalist, She’ll giggle about his forced rhyme and impotent repetition.
by Karen Campbell (Appeared in the January 2010 Issue) Dear Sir/Madam, I am enquiring as to the possibility of viewing some CCTV footage filmed on the 20th of May 2009— this was the last day I saw my friend, Ed. He lent me a quid for the trolley and I helped him choose a head of lettuce. He asked me to his barbeque that weekend but I fobbed him off, saying I was busy. I missed the funeral too. Now, supermarket lights make my stomach ache and online shopping makes me equally nauseous. But I think the pain would subside a little If I could say for sure that I’d given him his pound back.
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